We have all packed bags before. We pack them before school (whether that’s the evening before or the morning before depends on your thirst for the thrill of forgetting something) and we pack them for holidays. We pack bags for the beach and we pack bags for a hike. We may even pack for a meal out after an activity; a quick wardrobe flip in a public toilet to look presentable after having sweatily laser-tagged for an expensive one hour birthday treat.
Packing a bag for a multi-month backpacking trip can be a challenge. Yet the more trips you do, the more streamlined the backpack becomes. It’s like utilising the school locker for textbooks or football boots – save yourself some weight.
The first time I travelled I had a nice golden compass and a whistle in case I was lost ‘mountaineering’. Cute stocking fillers they may have been, but they were unused for their purpose. I did once run my fingers around the compass’ circumference and imagined it pointed to what I desired most in the world a la Jack Sparrow, but that was the extent of its use. So, naturally, those odds and ends were the first to be discarded for future trips. Fewer jumpers too, and fewer socks.
But then in comes my mum, driving me to Mountain Warehouse and Go Outdoors to find some good things I ‘might’ need. For example, a long sleeve thermal top for the hills of New Zealand. It cost £20 and I wore it twice, both in Australia and both times I was too hot in it. I sent it back home.
What I did actively want was a pair of hiking trousers. These would be comfier than jeans and I could wear them often and not be too sticky. Peter Storm, who I assume must be an intrepid explorer of the 19th century to have his name on so many items in Go Outdoors, provided me a supple pair of khaki trousers for £30. I was thrilled. They fit well and as soon I caught myself in the changing room mirror, I yearned for gales and driving rain on a muddy mountainside. My mum too was keen, even if she did try and find a cheaper pair.
And so the Peter Storms (or Anne of Sleeves) came with me. My naivety for fashion was reinforced when I had had it revealed to me some two weeks in that this green pair of trousers were convertibles. At each knee was a fold that tidily covered a zip. One loop under the knee later and the bottom half detached and fell to my ankle like I was on the toilet. My mind fluttered with the possibilities this allowed.
When backpacking, I want flexibility with clothing. The chance to kill two birds with one stone is anyone’s holiday-planning dream. And the convertible trouser that Peter Storm sewed for me is the ultimate item for any backpack. You see, whilst many strut the strips in speedos and serongs, few would have the self-confidence to be seen, if only for a minute, sat wearing an item of clothing that has one full leg, and one half leg. I will concede upfront that the transition from short to trouser is a faff. Finding the correct leg is like trying to stick a USB in: you succeed on the third go when you realise you were right the first time. It may look awkward and unfashionable to be zipping yourself off and on, but ask yourself this: would you rather be fashionable abroad, or practical?
If it’s the former, I will only say that the Peter Storms are khaki and khaki is in. If the practicalities are more appealing, then this subsequent deep-dive will make your eyes wider and wider in disbelief at the range of things the convertible trouser covers.
Hiking
A hiking trouser’s primary domain is the long walk. There are two basic facts to hiking. 1) you will warm up as you walk. 2) the higher you get the colder and windier it will be. This variety in body and air temperature can be a pain. Every time you stop for a break, you will get cold until you start walking again. The Peter Storms are the textile remedy to this. Start with the trousers on as you begin your morning walk, take them off (at the knee only) when you’re hot! At the top of a summit, as you eat cheap bread and jam, put them on to shelter from the wind and chill. The detached leg sleeves fold up so neatly your bag won’t even notice them. I sometimes keep each sleeve in the corresponding pocket so I know which sleeve matches which leg, but that’s the kind of trick I expect of more seasoned Peter Stormees.
Asia and temple viewings
If you are going for a trip to South East Asia, trousers are not needed. The sarong or stereotypical elephant / linen trousers from a market can sort you out, so jeans, joggers or hiking trousers are just a waste of space. That is, unless you wear the hiking trousers on the air conditioned plane on the way out from cold England, strip off the sleeves once you breathe in that intense humidity, and tuck them into a book or around a sun cream for protection. Then, in the evenings, having worn your nice khaki shorts for the day, you can save yourself some insect repellent by covering your legs up again. The sun has gone, so you aren’t limiting any tanning time!
When it comes to the necessary boat journeys for checking out the Thai or Gili islands, many of these vessels do not dock on a pier. Instead, you have to wade up to your ankles and shins to hop on, only for an intensely chilled interior to await you. If only such trousers existed that allowed you to get your legs wet and then keep them warm under the air conditioning…
Furthermore, some temples have rules that men cannot enter unless their knees are covered. Ah damn, I’ve come all this way to a temple in my shorts and I can’t get in! Oh wait, I have my trouser sleeves here in my phone case. One minute later and you have the temple’s blessing. Too. Easy.
Hospital Trips
With rabid dogs, cowboy moped drivers and the drunken debaucheries afforded to those who have spent £5 on 10 beers, accident risk is very high abroad. The Peter Storms can benefit other people, especially doctors. Many items of clothing are lost and wasted due to the surgeon’s scissors slashing them apart to investigate wounds. So, after you’ve been air-dropped to a hospital, you can save both the doctor some time and a good pair of trousers by murmuring, in a moment of feverish consciousness, “they are Peter Storms.” After ‘hello’ and ‘Coke’, Peter Storm is the third most recognisable word across the globe. And so the doctor can unzip you and check the shark bite with ease.
Conclusion
If the beer is the universal drink that can be as respectfully consumed as the first drink of your wedding and at funeral wakes as it is on the 09:12 train to watch Dover Athletic play Ebbsfleet United, then the Peter Storm is the universal trouser. It can be worn for trekking and trudging, birthday parties and group pilates. It’s fit for planes and for trains. It’s good for boarding boats and complimenting coats. It is a great bit of kit.
For A Few Thoughts More 